Butter, Butter, Butter
WALT: write an introduction that orientates and hooks in the reader.
1. What a buttery day! Today room 8 were learning about how to make butter. Mrs Garden got all her things out then we started. While Mrs Garden was telling us how to make butter we were all in a 4 groups.
2. Mrs Garden took out the cream then she got out 2 small bowls after that she picked out 1 small salt and a bottle. Then she said let’s poor ½ of the cream into the bottle, then add a little bit of salt into the cream and, pass the bottle of cream around the circle and told us to give it 2 big huge shakes and it took 20 minutes. She stopped us, and said that the cream in the bottle was moist and that it looked like butter but softer.
I agree your introduction is clear, we just need to work on hooking in your reader. Try and use some of the techniques we have been practising in class Lotu.
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